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Couples often come in with a list. The money conversation. The in-laws. Whose turn it was. The tone at dinner last Tuesday. Within a few sessions it usually becomes clear these aren't separate problems. They're one pattern wearing different clothes. The Cycle Underneath Most distressed couples run a version of the same loop. One partner raises something, usually with some heat because previous attempts didn't land. The other, feeling criticised, defends or goes quiet. The fir